A couple of months ago I had a doctors appointment with a new doctor and before even getting to the nitty gritty, she decided to tell me about Chapter 2 in my life. She said Chapter 2 would be where I figure out what type of woman/person I am going to be, where I find my true friends, where I finally figure out what I want to be in life and exactly who I am.
Chapter 3 is living all of those out.
After telling her thank you and tearing up from our little pep talk, it made all type of things run through my mind once I left. I am definitely in the stage of life in figuring out who I want in my life and who, honestly, I do not. If you are a new blog follower, I spoke about here the feelings I have towards my bio dad. Friday is his birthday and forever this has been a struggle growing up. I never made his birthday as special as he thought it should have been, even though I was the child. I have been struggling all week whether or not I should acknowledge his birthday....I have come to the conclusion that the path of not letting him into my life is the one I will stick to. The decision to cut anyone out of your life is hard and is definitely not any easier if it is a parent.
I have recently had to decide which friends I am going to take into Chapter 2 with me. I know that hands down I am not the greatest friend there is on Earth. My BFF Alyssa, will tell you I am very set in my ways and if you are looking for someone to be a night owl/bar buddy, that is not me! I am home in bed by 1030pm on a Saturday, because that is what I like. BUT if you are looking for someone to hate/beat up someone who is mean/hateful to you...I am your girl! (half joking of course)
However, I hope that all of my friends know that no matter what I am always there for them. I have a core group of girls that I went to high school with/ followed to college that today we are all still the greatest friends. We may not all talk ALL the time but when we do it's like we never missed a day of each other's lives. We are there if something good or bad happens to any of us. I look forward to what is going to pop into my email or what text messages are going to come across from these ladies.
I don't think a friendship should solely be based on what you get out of that person, but having a two sided relationship always helps. When you are always getting negative from someone the best thing to do is to gracefully bow down and step aside.
"After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart." - Carrie (Sex and the City)
I have always loved this quote because I truly feel like it sums up the changes you go through in life. I once heard a TV preacher say "God puts certain people in your lives for seasons or events that are happening in your life. They are not meant to stay forever but only to help you get through those hard times."
And that is what I am learning.... at 25 years old, but I have learned that since the hardest time in my life, when my grandfather passed away, there are certain people put in your life for certain seasons/events. Once that time is up, its time to move on.
This all may seem very harsh and Z and I talk all the time that I feel that one of my bad personality traits is cutting people out of my life who I feel have no need of being there anymore.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have had to chose whether or not someone was "allowed" to stay in your life?
All of this just reminds me that I should have never wished to hurry up and be an adult when I was younger....social studies test and early bed times are not looking so bad anymore.